When pastors hit the wall
Pastor John came to know the Lord at an evangelistic meeting at the mission school where he studied. Fervent in his new-found hope, he was zealous in bringing many of his classmates to Christ and later responded to the call to be a pastor. Many souls were added into the kingdom through his ministry and he went on to disciple them and groom some of them to be key leaders in the church.
Sounds like a fairy tale that ends with "and they lived happily ever after". Unfortunately, it wasn't so. John committed adultery and embezzled the church funds. Oh, he still loves his wife and family dearly but somewhere in his church's success and members' adulation, John began to feel a spiritual emptiness within him which he couldn't share with anyone, not even his wife.
He managed to overcome the restlessness of his soul when his church embarked on a building programme. Like Nehemiah, he challenged the people to "arise and build" and felt so good when the funds rolled in like a mighty wave. But as soon as the building campaign ended, that emptiness returned.
He tried attending some overseas conferences and was charged up with passion but again, the vigour dissipated quickly once he landed on Malaysian soil. Having "morning watch" was good and refreshing but he soon burned out undergoing the daily regiment - spiritual though it may be. It must be the devil then! You know the outcome...
Be it the Church at large or the Malaysian Church in particular, many church leaders can identify with this fictitious Pastor John. While there can be many reasons for the "emptiness syndrome" (which King Solomon experienced to the hilt), one possibility could be that God wants to move us deeper into Himself.
This was the topic at one of the workshops at the recently-concluded Eagles Team Leadership Summit organisd by NECF Malaysia. Entitled "Leadership Emotional Health: Stress, Sabbath and Spirit", the seminar examined the necessity of our "Journey through the Wall" (otherwise known as "dark night of the soul") to shed incomplete or immature ideas about God.
Like many leaders, Peter Scazzero - author of "Emotionally Healthy Spirituality" - also experienced the "Pastor John" syndrome Having "hit the wall" in his ministry, he finally experienced a breakthrough in his life when he journeyed inwards in his stages of faith.
While the workshop facilitators borrowed the concept from Scazzero, they had their own pilgrimage stories to tell. To help the participants start their inward journey, "A guide to a one-day silent retreat" was given with tips on how to quieten themselves and allow God to speak deeply into their lives.
Workshop facilitator Elizabeth Lee, who took 10 years to learn this principle, concluded with an exhortation to the participants to avoid learning the principle the hard way.
For those who want to read more about this inward journey, Scazzero's books, "Emotionally Healthy Spirituality" and the accompanying "Emotionally Healthy Church", are available at local Christian bookshops. Perhaps this may be God's antidote to break the staleness in your walk and kick in another cycle of love and faith in Him.
Note: According to Gladsounds manager, Scazzero's two books have been sold out. The next shipment is expected to arrive in June. |
