There are various forms of abuse. These include:
Physical Power & Violence
This ranges from the withholding of personal care and affection to threats to personal safety, to pushing, hitting, punching, systematic torture and murder. Physical violence in the home is a crime.
Psychological or Emotional Power and Violence
This is typically harassment aimed at demeaning, humiliating or intimidating. Behaviours tend to focus on insults about appearance, ideas and the competence of women.
Social Power & Violence
This includes demeaning, restricting or controlling women’s choices regarding friends and activities. Social violence can escalate to virtual imprisonment of women and children in the home.
Economic or Financial Power & Violence
This involves the use of power to control or place conditions on money and purchases. It can escalate to extreme deprivation.
Spiritual Power & Violence
All violence affects the spirit because the victim experiences feelings of vulnerability, powerlessness, and worthlessness and because her safety, freedom, sense of self and trust in others is undermined. More specifically, spiritual violence happens in the church community whenever the Bible, pastoral `care’ or ideas about God (theology) are used to justify abusive behaviour and control.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 NLT
We are all significant in God’s eyes.
“And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to Him than a whole flock of sparrows.” Luke 12:7 NLT
We all face difficulties in our lives. And we all use various means of solving these problems. Violence and acting out in anger are not solutions to any problems we may be encountering. “A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.” (Proverbs 29:11 NLT) Abuse in any relationship should not be tolerated.
“The Lord examines both the righteous and the wicked. He hates everyone who loves violence.” (Psalm 11;5 NLT) This verse tells us that God hates violence. People who use violence may want to control you or scare you, they may have bad tempers, stress in their lives, alcohol or drug problems or low self esteem, or they simply may not know a better way of dealing with their problems. This still does not mean that violence should be tolerated.
If he is abusive…
· Seek help
· Take time to heal
· Seek positive friends
· Avoid being alone with him
“He heals the brokenhearted, binding up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3 NLT
“Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about what happens to you.” 1 Peter 5:7 NLT
You need time to heal spiritually and emotionally. Allow God to be your comfort. There are others in your life that can help as well.
Talk to your…
· Close friend
· P a s t o r
· Doctor or counselor
These people can help you. They can listen, give advice and be supportive of your decisions.
Helping a friend who is suffering from abuse
· Listen
· Do not blame
· Do not ignore the signs of abuse
· Be supportive
· Give encouragement
· Be a shoulder to lean on
· Offer to go with them for help
· Invite them to go places with you
· Ask for help to deal with this
Project of World Evangelical Fellowship Commission on Women’s Concerns, Task Force on Abuse Against Women. |
