One of the most basic things I learned from my mother was her sense of openness and honesty. She could never bear to harbour anything and had to ‘have it out’ as soon as possible. She always had to tell us what was on her mind and clear the air. My sister practised a similar philosophy.
But for me it was harder. Telling half the truth, resorting to a little white lie, or taking ‘anything for peace’ stance never seemed to me any harm, but, whenever she could, Peggy pushed me into being truthful in my statements and actions.
She encouraged me to put things right with people immediately. It took the Lord Jesus Christ to change me and begin to help me tell my feelings and failings openly and honestly with people.
Peggy always respected Shirley and me and ‘trusted us twice’ – a skill mothers should cultivate. To trust once requires not much more than most can give, but to trust again when trust has been abused requires another quality of confidence altogether. That needs a belief in the child, a determination to think the best, and a confidence in God’s intervention when everyone believes the worst.
What marvellous trust God placed in us, I thought in awe. And what a risk He took! Fancy allowing us the chance to build eternal values into our children’s lives, telling us, ‘Train up a child in the way he should go,’ promising us then that ‘when he is old, he will not depart from it.’
God had given us the ability as parents to guide our own, and as far as Stuart and I were concerned, that meant guiding them into the way of Jesus. I realised it was this dimension that made a Christian mother different from just a mother. She had the grand ability to know God and make Him known to her child.
Yes, I could teach our children the Eternal’s ways, I thought excitedly. That would fill the lonely hours while Stuart was travelling. Then another thought occurred to me. The verse could have ended: ‘Train up a child in the way he should go – and walk there yourself once in a while.’ There has to be the training of example to go along with it, I mused. The do-as-I-do that I had seen in Peggy’s life and that I could seek to emulate, and not just the do-as-I say bit.
Friendship’s Treasures: If your mother is still alive, send her a packet of letters, each describing one lesson you learned from her example.
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