The Church should view conflicts positively as they allow personal and organisational growth, and provides opportunity for fostering better relationships. "Perceptually, we think that conflict is negative. We therefore tend to avoid talking about it and cover it up," said Dr John Ng.
The absence of conflict was not a guarantee of relational wellness, cautioned the vice-president of Eagles Communi- cation, Singapore. He was speaking to some 40 participants attending a consultation on conflict resolutions and mediation organised by the NECF Malaysia Research Commission. The consultation was a preliminary meeting to gather materials for developing guiding principles to help Christians in handling conflicts both within the church as well as in the marketplace.
What cause conflicts in the first place? The root cause is found in James 4:1–3, NECF Secretary-General Rev Wong Kim Kong pointed out. "Conflicts arise from unmet desires in our hearts," he said.
Participants also brought up other causes of conflict, such as doctrinal disagreement, differences in visions, lack of core values or procedures within a structure, and personality differences. Personal shortcomings also contribute greatly to conflict, participants agreed, for example the inability to integrate spiritual and pragmatic dimensions, lack of commitment to build and maintain relationship, lack of communication skills, business disputes due to greed, and personal emotional baggage.
The absence of good characters, courage and integrity, as well as the low degree of emotional and spiritual maturity in handling conflicts, might allow conflicts to degenerate into fights and quarrel, eventually causing bitter disunity.
Furthermore, whether a particular conflict would yield positive results depended on the attitudes of those involved, Rev Wong added. For example, when faced with conflicts, the normal human response is to focus passionately on the wrong committed by the other party. The Christian response would be to examine our hearts and search if and where we’ve erred.
Another speaker, Ang Ting Ting who heads the Eagles Mediation and Counselling Centre, shared the five stages of the mediation process: making opening statements – which helps to set the context; sharing perspectives; moving from positions to interests; generating and assessing options; and reaching an agreement.
From the legal perspective, lawyer Lee Min Choon’s paper advised churches to look into their constitutional structure as this affects their legal position in disputes with their congregants. Nevertheless, he advised against seeking legal resolution as it undermines the authority of Scripture and church leadership. Furthermore, it erodes the integrity of the Church and church government.
"If there is litigation involving a church, it would mean in practical terms that the fate of the church would be decided by non-Christians, and in most cases, Muslims," he said.
Participants later shared their experiences in resolving conflicts and identified several important elements that conflicting parties must remember in the process, such as respect for authority, establishing leadership covenant and recognising the spiritual dimension of conflict, that it is an essential part of the enemy’s strategy to cause disunity in the church.
At the end of the consultation, partici- pants urged NECF to form a mechanism or ‘tribunal’ for Christian mediation, and also proposed that NECF introduce dispute grievances in the contracts of employees in Christian organisations. Eagles will consider training Malaysian Christians and build up a resource base in Malaysia.
