When Right Is Wrong
Why churches split and how to prevent it. Or minimise the effects.

Conflicts between Christians are nothing new. But today, the problem appears to have escalated, resulting in numerous church splits and other unhappy events. Here are some guidelines from the Word of God to help us prevent or resolve these conflicts. The conflicts can be divided into three categories.

Doctrinal Conflicts

Christians down the centuries have placed strong emphasis on correct doctrine. Even though modern Christians are more open-minded and tolerant, serious doctrinal issues still surface from time to time.

What to do
Determine whether the issue is a primary one (dealing with salvation, etc.) on which the overall biblical testimony is very clear, or a secondary one to which no clear-cut answer is given. If an issue is secondary, it may not be worth arguing and splitting over it.

Accept him whose faith is weak, without passing judgment on disputable matters. (Rom. 14:1)
But avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels
about the law, because these are unprofitable and useless. (Titus 3:9)

If a secondary issue involves one party holding to a “stricter” standard than another party (Paul calls them “the weak” and “the strong” respectively), Paul (surprisingly) asks the strong to make adjustments for the sake of the weak. After all, even the strong cannot claim to possess complete knowledge. On the issue of food sacrificed to idols, for example, Paul goes on to highlight the subtle dangers involved in eating such food.

If your brother is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love. Do not by your eating destroy your brother for whom Christ died. (Rom. 14:15)
Be careful, however, that the exercise of your freedom does not become a stumbling block to the weak. For if anyone with a weak conscience sees you who have this knowledge eating in an idol’s temple, won’t he be emboldened to eat what has been sacrificed to idols? So this weak brother, for whom
Christ died, is destroyed by your knowledge.
(1 Cor. 8:9–11)
Now about food sacrificed to idols: We know that we all possess knowledge. Knowledge
puffs up, but love builds up. The man who thinks he knows something does not yet know as he ought to know. (1 Cor. 8:1–2)

Allow for differences of opinion; do not judge each other.

All of us who are mature should take such
a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make
clear to you. (Phil. 3:15)
The man who eats everything must not look down on him who does not, and the man who does not eat everything must not condemn the man who does, for God has accepted him. (Rom. 14:3)

Personal Wrongs

Christians are still sinners and they do wrong from time to time, even to fellow Christians.

What to do
If one party feels strongly that he/she has been seriously wronged, he may seek redress through the mediation of other Christians. Taking the matter to court is strongly discouraged as this would dishonour Christ.

“If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.” (Matt. 18:15–17)
If any of you has a dispute with another, dare he take it before the ungodly for
judgment instead of before the saints? …
Is it possible that there is nobody among you wise enough to judge a dispute between believers? But instead, one brother goes to
law against another – and this in front of unbelievers! (1 Cor. 6:1–6)

If the conflict remains unresolved, the wronged party should learn to put matters to rest and leave things to God.

Jesus also has a word for the party who does wrong. How harmonious church life would be if more Christians obey this command!

“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift”. (Matt. 5:23–24)

Personality Clashes
Christians are also human beings who have their own preferences and ways of doing things. Such differences can lead to conflicts.

What to do
Recognise that more often than not, it is the “I” in us that is the culprit.

What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? (James. 4:1)

Submit to each other. The “subordinate” is to obey his/her overseer. The overseer is to give room for individual expression to members of his flock so that they too can develop their talents and grow in the ministry.

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. (Eph. 5:21)
Obey your leaders and submit to their authority. They keep watch over you as men who must give an account. (Heb. 13:17a)
Be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care, serving as overseers… not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock. (1 Pet. 5:2–3)

If two parties have genuine dis-agreements over method or strategy, they may part way amicably. By God’s grace, the ministry can also grow in this way.