had a couple of children there and then there was a news blackout until years later when the husband came back alone!
What happened? Eventually we found out from the husband that Siew Kin had met a lesbian in Australia and the relationship became so serious she eventually left him and their young children to live with her gay partner.
Special arrangements were made for the children (as citizens) to continue their education in Australia and the heart-broken husband came back to try and resume his fulltime calling here.
Over the years, as we came to understand more about gays and the reasons for their sexual orientation, we understood in hindsight that Siew Kin’s case was actually a weak link just waiting to break!
It was a matter of time, and meeting the ‘right’ person (a catalyst, so to speak) would lead to the latent weakness in her emotional-psychological makeup being will help the child to have a healthy interest in members of the opposite sex, beginning in the teenage years of life, and leading ultimately to a healthy life-long sexual orientation. The cause for a number of confused sexual behaviour in adults (although not all) can actually be traced back to a lack of bonding in childhood.
Because of its very nature and function, the most important require- ment for bonding is for it to take place between a parent and child of the same sex, so that a girl learns from her mother what it is like to be a girl and woman, and correspondingly a boy from his father.
How true it is when we say that a lot of important things in life are caught more than taught; they are learnt in the process of interaction and relationship.
A boy needs to observe and learn to do certain things like his father and if necessary, interact with him and ask questions. From watching television to
 Mothers who usually oversee such activities for young children should sometimes make a grand show of letting the boys do their own thing. Needless to say, mothers have a lot of input into the life of her young male children and fathers need to treat their daughters like princesses but same sex bonding is something we need to actively consider and make special provisions for.
Parents, look seriously into this matter of bonding with your children and act on it. On the one hand it is not an impossible task to fulfill but on the other, failing to accomplish this is sending your children into the world with a weak link in their emotional and psychological make-up making them vulnerable to being exploited by gays!
In today’s world, we never know who our children will meet and interact with when they leave home for studies, work or just to live on their own.
Ronnie says...
 Because we have two boys in our family, some of the special things I did with them was when I took the time to teach them to ride their bicycles and fly kites when they were little boys; we played baseball; I coached them in tennis and later used to watch live football telecasts with them. I did the spanking when it was necessary.
Very quickly, they have now become adults in their own right and hopefully, through all the interaction over the years, they have caught from me what the male sexual identity is all about. Ladies can figure out what you need to do with your daughters. That is what bonding is all about.
What are some danger signs (indicating a possible lack of bonding) to watch out for?
- When either parent becomes so busy with his or her career and is unable to give quality time to the child of his or her sex to do things together.
- When the per-sonality trait of a parent makes it difficult for a child or children of the same sex as him or her to be close to and confide in that parent.
- Boys are especially vulnerable in our society because there is a lack of the male model in a lot of places. Most teachers (especially in primary school) are female; women are often solely saddled with the care of the children in dysfunctional family situations.
In our churches, the Sunday Schools and other ministries are invariably led by women. Some steps ought to be taken to correct this trend. The place to begin is the home.
- Single parent families would normally have problems with the issue of bonding.
In certain places in the United States, surrogate-parent programmes were initiated to help single parents deal with this problem: mature and well established men and women volunteer to help single parents with the bonding needs of their children of a different sex.
Pastor Ronnie and his wife have many years of pastoral experience.
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