Doctors Also Get Sick
"Wounded pastors" sounds like an oxymoron. After all, pastors are supposed to be the ones tending the wounds of their injured sheep and massaging balm to hurting souls. On the battlefield, pastors are the invincible commander; the sheep are the vulnerable soldiers.
But this is far from the truth. Out there where bullets fly and mortars rage, everyone is at equal risk. In fact, pastors, being in the frontline, face greater danger of getting hit.
It's the same in the church scene. Pastors get wounded all the time in the course of their ministry, and sadly, some never heal and eventually drop out of ministry.
In the 2001 NECF Survey, when asked whether they had thought of leaving their pastoral ministry over the past five years, about half the pastors who responded said they had occasionally thought about it, 9.4% replied "fairly often" while 2.4% admitted "very often".
What are the common causes of pastors leaving the ministry? From the same NECF survey, some of the reasons cited were:
- Discouragement over lack of spiritual and numerical growth in their congregations;
- Too many responsibilities;
- Lack of recognition and appreciation;
- Difficult relationships with church members; and
- Insufficient income
A survey among North American churches gives us a peak into the common reasons why pastors are frustrated:
- Church Conflict
The most common cause is conflict, either with lay leaders, colleagues, members of the congregation or denominational leaders. These conflicts often sap the pastor of his energy, enthusiasm and vision.
In a survey1 done, a quarter of the respondents cited conflict with local church leaders as one of the most significant factors in the actual decision to leave.
- Lack of Support
Pastors often feel that their needs (financial, emotional and moral) are neglected by their church. They often leave the pastorate with intense feelings of failure, anger, betrayal, resentment and guilt.
- Pastor's Spouse/Family Issues
Spouse/family issues are often significant in the decision to leave the pastorate. Most of these issues are related to spouse, family, housing, finance and mobility.
- 13.5% mention problems in the marriage relationship;
- 10% of spouses have problems accepting the lifestyle; and
- 16% mention family problems.
- Loss of Self-confidence
Loss of self-confidence is often characterised by self-doubt, low self-esteem, an inability to cope, and a constant focus on one's weaknesses.
- Stress/burnout
When stress begins to affect pastors, they begin to feel that the pastoral ministry is no longer tenable. For some, this decision leads them to take "time out" for either a sabbatical and/or further study. For others, they just throw in the towel.
Churches must be aware of the potholes and pitfalls that lie inconspicuously in the path of their pastors. Action must be taken to plug the holes, or else ministry casualties will result in a gradual diminution in number and strength of full-time pastors.
PLUGGING THE HOLES
Inevitably, pastors will get hurt in the process of ministry. This is an inherent part of discipleship which we cannot avoid. The church's role is to help pastors anticipate the pitfalls ahead and take measures to overcome them.
If and when their pastors are injured, the church should nurse the wounds, prevent them from festering and help its pastor get through his ordeal to emerge stronger.
NECF Malaysia, through its Leadership Commission, is looking at ways to help pastors achieve optimum health for effective service.
One such proposal is the Pastors' Adoption Programme where pastors from smaller towns can do refreshers and on-the-job training with bigger churches in the cities. This can also be an affordable way for the church to give its pastor a sabbatical.
Following are some other programmes that the commission is mulling over.
Proactive Care
- Conduct seminars on church systems and processes offering proactive advice to both pastors and lay leaders to help them identify and minimise problems before they surface to harm the unity of the church.
- Conduct leadership training for pastors to upgrade their ministerial skills - strategic planning, interpersonal skills, self-awareness, etc.
Reactive Care
Wounded pastors need care. Sometimes, tenderness is the approach; other times, a firm hand and good measure of discipline are required. Whatever it is, they should not be left alone to self-medicate their injuries. Their leaders must swarm to their rescue and quickly before the wounds turn fatal. We urge pastors and leaders to build close and firm relationships, and not just functional relationships that revolve around work and ministry.
We are family and family members look out for each other, stay true to our ties no matter what our disagreements are, and desire the best for each other.
We invite feedback or further ideas. Email to Patrick at patrick@necf.org.my
1 An attempt to understand pastor burnout and why pastors leave ministry |
