Another characteristic of a person of integrity is trustworthiness. A person of integrity is unimpeachable. He/she stands by the principles no matter what the consequences. A person of integrity realises there are moral absolutes even in a world of relative values.

There are principles worth standing by and worth promoting. There are values that should govern our lives. We have a responsibility to follow God’s law rather than the law of the crowd. When the book of Proverbs talks of the ‘integrity of the upright’ it implies that we adhere to God’s will and God’s laws. We have a duty to obey God’s absolute commands in our lives and become men and women of integrity.

It’s been said that we may be the only Bible some people ever read. In other words, people around us often judge the truthfulness of Christianity by its effect in our lives. If they see us as hypocrites, they may not go any further in the investigation of the gospel.

Everyday we rub shoulders with people who are watching us. Your life will demonstrate to them whether Christianity is true or false. They make value judgements about you by your attitudes and actions.

What about the effect on our children and family members? By the same token, our children watch us, the way we speak and act. They register every detail of our ethical or unethical examples and imbibe the values we subtly and unconsciously impart to them.

Today everyone is bemoaning the corruption and immorality that have eroded our society. The saying, ‘You cannot trust anyone in this world, not the politicians, not the business people, and not even the clergyman, rings a great deal of truth. This moral and ethical erosion has eaten into the very foundation of our social system, the family. It’s hard to say where the root of the problem lies, the family or the society.

It’s the chicken and egg dilemma. Whichever side the debate supports, the family unit has definitely been affected by the tide of declining ethical standards that are corrupting our society. The family is the most basic of our human subsystems. Thus, what happens outside the subsystem affects it, and vice versa.

In order for the larger system, i. e. the society, to be strong and ‘whole’ and integrated, the family unit must be strengthened. The only way to bring back moral and ethical wholeness in our society is through bringing back integrity in the family relationships.

‘Charity begins at home.’ We can say that ‘ethical values are more often than not ‘caught’ in the home. As the parents model integrity and ethical values in their interactions with their spouses and family members, the children learn without being preached at.

The characteristics that are vital in family relationships include:

1. Vow-keeping
2. Honesty
3. Trustworthiness

Parents must demonstrate these qualities in relating to their children and in their everyday actions. There should be no compromise or double standards if we are to influence the future generation to be people of integrity. We must not just be "speaking the truth" but also "doing the truth". If we do this, we leave behind a rich legacy. ‘A righteous man who walks in his integrity. How blessed are his sons after him" (Prov. 20:7).

Mrs Chan Tean Yin is a member of the NECF Malaysia Commission on Women’s Concern.

Bibliography

Anderson, Kerby, Integrity (Online)

Boulton, G. Wayne, Kennedy, D. Thomas and Verbey, Allen, From Christ to the World Introductory Readings in Christian Ethics. Grand Rapids, Michigan: William B Eerdmans Publishing Company, 1984

Chambers, Oswald, Biblical Ethics, London: Oswald Chambers Publications Association, 1947

Delashmutt, Gary, How to Fall Prey to Spiritual Deception (Online)

Smedes, Lewis, Mere Morality How Do We Make Decisions that Matter Most? Grand rapids, Michigan: William B Eerdmans Publishing Company, 1993