Good to be Nice

In January, Prime Minister Dato’ Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi launched the nationwide Courtesy and Noble Values Campaign (Kempen Budi Bahasa dan Nilai-nilai Murni) aimed at taking the nation to greater heights, not only in terms of economic development but moral and spiritual character as well.

This new emphasis is a wake-up call for Christians. For too long, we have neglected these universal values in favour of more exclusive Christian values. “It’s not enough just being nice,” we say. “It can’t save you.” But being nice and courteous has an important place in life.

The Concise Oxford Dictionary defines “courteous” as “polite, respectful and considerate”; and “noble” as “having fine personal qualities or high moral principles”. Other definitions exist but they converge on the same set of qualities.

A little booklet published by the Ministry of Culture, Arts and Heritage lists 47 courteous qualities and noble values that should be practised by all Malaysians. The weighty list may leave us in despair but the following tips may help us make a start.

Think in terms of relationships
The same booklet lists four major arenas in which courtesy and noble values are to be practised.

1 At Home
Pertinent relationships here are those between parents and children (parents are duty bound to bring up their children well while children are to love, respect and be obedient to their parents); between siblings (younger ones are to address older ones according to convention, etc.); and between relatives (relatives are to visit one another when the opportunity arises, etc.).

2 In Society
Pertinent relationships are those between the older and younger generations (juniors are to give way to seniors while seniors are to value the opinions of juniors, etc.); between leaders and the public (members of the public are to give full support to their elected leaders, etc.); and between members of the public (who must learn to queue while waiting to be served, etc.).

3 In School
Key relationships are those between teachers and students (teachers are to be role models for their students in every way while students are to show respect and appreciation for their teachers); and between students (who are to be tolerant of differences between them in terms of race, religion and other matters, etc.).

4 At Work
Key relationships are found between superiors and subordinates (superiors must treat their subordinates with kindness and act fairly towards all of them while subordinates are to be diligent, punctual, etc.); between colleagues (who are to help instead of compete – in an unhealthy manner – with one another, etc.); and between employees and customers (employees are to be responsive to customers, pleasant when rendering service, etc. while customers are to be polite when making requests, etc.).
This is not the only source we can learn from. Many of us are familiar with Confucius’ five great relationships – between father and son, ruler and subject, husband and wife, elder brother and younger brother, and between friends. Specific duties are prescribed for each participant in these sets of relationships. In Confucius’ Hsiao Ching (The Classic of Filial Piety), the five duties of a filial son include venerating his parents in daily life, making them happy in every possible way especially when the meal is served, taking extra care of them when they are sick, and so on. It helps to be specific.

The best source of relationship guidance is the Bible. Ephesians 5:22–6:9 and Colossians 3:18–4:1 instruct us on right attitudes and conduct between husbands and wives, parents and children, masters and slaves (employers and employees). 1 Peter 2:13–3:7 requires that Christians submit to rulers, and slaves to masters, and has instructions for husbands and wives. Titus 2 teaches what is right for different categories of people in their respective roles – older men, older women, young men, young women, and slaves.

There are many other exhortations to correct behaviour between believers, between believers and non-believers, between rulers and subjects, and others.

Think of the most basic and most neglected

There is popular saying: “It’s the little things that mean the most in my life.” In the context of courtesy and noble values, the little things include greeting another (“Good morning”), enquiring after another’s welfare (“How are you?”), smiling, saying “thank you” and “sorry”, and giving little encouragements and appropriate praise.

These civilities have been so neglected that a person who practises them is considered odd! It is unfair to say these practices are superficial and merely habitual. In fact, to consistently practise the “little things” require much discipline and determination. Therefore, good habits need to be cultivated.

Think of the benefits of practising courtesy and noble values

Courtesy and noble values are part of what we call universal moral law. Every society upholds these values regardless of religion or no religion.

It is interesting that some time ago, communist China sought to promote “courtesy and noble values” in all aspects of life. Romans 2 speaks of the conscience in all peoples, which is the imprint of God’s image on humanity.

Just because these values are universal do not mean they are any less Christian. The Bible exhorts us to live out these values for righteousness’ sake and as a testimony to non-believers. In fact, Christians should be more courteous and noble than non-Christians because we have the Holy Spirit’s empowerment. By promoting good qualities in society, we act as salt and light of the world in preventing moral decay. We also point people to the salvation that is available in Jesus Christ.


It is said that the best way to show up a crooked stick is to lay beside it a straight one. By holding up such high standards, it will become clear that no one can meet them. Confucius was disappointed at the end of his life because he saw much injustice and wickedness and had no ultimate answer for them.

We have the answer – Jesus Christ – “who has been tempted in every way… yet was without sin” (Heb. 4:15), who has become “the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him” (Heb. 5:9), and who will soon abolish sin and death forever. “In that day the Root of Jesse will stand as a banner for the peoples; the nations will rally to him, and his place of rest will be glorious.” (Isa. 11:10)

That’s nation building and Kingdom building rolled into one!