By David Bok, February 2005
 Kalastri Devasingam Bok, or KD Bok as he was known, was my father. He died suddenly, and quietly, on Dec 6, 2004. My mother had preceded him in 1991. In many ways, who we are is determined by our parents. Without them we do not exist. So a part of me – my genetic source code given by God – has gone, permanently.
My father & his family
My father grew up in the Malacca Chetty community, a half millennium old hybrid of traders from India and local Malayans. My mother was an orphan adopted by the same community. After their marriage, my parents settled in Kuantan on the east coast of Peninsular Malaysia.
They had four children: 1) Me, the eldest – Devastry Parasurama aka David. I’ve been with the Navigators, a Christian organisation, since 1966, when I began university in Kuala Lumpur. 2) Next, my brother, Sithambaram Kalastri aka Boy. He was the one who took after my father in his love for hunting wild boar. He drowned during a hunting trip in 1974, aged 24. 3) Then, my sister, Lena Periachee. She’s been a dentist all her working life, the last few years back in our hometown of Kuantan. My father lived with her until his passing. 4) The youngest, Devasingam, studied, married and settled in Melbourne, Australia.
Between us we gave my parents six grandchildren. Their names all begin with J: Jabez (23), Jared (21), Jessica (20), Jade or Ghaik Hoon (19), Jasmine (18) and Jihan (14).
My father & I
In 1985 I was on a Navigators trip to Kuching, East Malaysia. A friend, whose father had just died in his sleep, told me that he had always meant to get to know his father. But his father was now dead, and this purpose was no longer possible. His plea: “Please don’t make the same mistake I did. Don’t procrastinate getting to know those you love.” These “what I wish I had done” sermons are pretty powerful. So, the next year, I volunteered to take my father to Melbourne to visit my brother. It was the first of many trips when I took my father with me: going on family holidays, visiting my mother’s grave in Colorado, visiting his parents’ graves – to try to know and appreciate him.
My father & Jesus
I had helped a number of people come to personal faith in Jesus, but whenever I thought of helping my parents, it seemed an impossible task. Until one day when I was startled by a verse in the Bible that agreed with me: “With men this is impossible, but not with God. All things are possible with God” (Mark 10:27). I wrote my parents’ names beside this verse, and with that encouragement, began praying regularly for them to understand God’s plan for their lives.
In 1991 my father had a stroke, and asked if he and my mum could move to live with us. My wife and I saw this as an answer to prayer. In the first home we owned in Taman Tun Dr Ismail, Kuala Lumpur, my parents heard and discussed the gospel extensively with my wife Annabelle’s mother, and during the weekly Bible discussions in our home.
In 1992 my family and I were on a Navigators assignment in Colorado Springs. My parents came to stay with us for a few months, during which time my mother died of a sudden heart attack. The week before, in our après-diner Bible discussions, almost daily our topic was death. Comments that she made assured us that her loyalties had changed from her previous gods to Jesus. At the memorial services, immediately after her death in Colorado Springs, and eight months later in Kuala Lumpur, my father went public in explaining his journey to faith in Jesus.
 A true follower of Jesus Christ
I had prayed that when my father believed in Jesus, he would not default into a church-going Sunday Christian, but become the genuine article – a true follower of Jesus Christ.
In the first five years of his faith, my father finished reading the Bible nine times. After breakfast and the morning papers, he would leisurely read the Bible. One of my prized heirlooms is an indexed book with notes from his Bible reading on topics like baptism, the Holy Spirit, love, obedience, prayer. He also began waking up early every morning to pray for all his surviving relatives.
My father began to share his faith with relatives. This spawned another Bible study group with him and some relatives, all over 70 years old. One was blind, one deaf and one lame. The blind didn’t see, the deaf didn’t hear and the lame didn’t walk, but over the three years that they met, they all “had the good news preached to them ” (Luke 7:22).
My father was hard of hearing, and one time misunderstood and snubbed a younger man, whose words he had misheard. When I pointed out that he had misheard the other man’s words, and an apology was due, he equivocated, “But”.
I said, “the Bible says you have to apologise.” “Where does it say that?” he replied. I pointed out some passages. One month later he showed me a photocopy of the letter of apology that he had written to the younger man.
A man of 85 apologising to a younger man, in my books, is a miracle of transformation – brought about by my father’s love for God’s word and willingness to submit to God’s will.
When my father died, he received no Christian funeral because he had declined to be baptised. His study of the Bible had convinced him that baptism was primarily spiritual, not physical. He thus did not appear on any church register, and was therefore not entitled to a burial plot in a Christian cemetery.
A spiritual assessment & legacy
What do you call a man who, after coming to a personal faith in Jesus Christ, sought the Bible diligently to discover God’s purposes for him in Christ, obeyed God’s will as he understood it, even if it went against his previous way of life, but who was not baptised, didn’t take on a Christian name (his middle name Devasingam is the Hindu lion god), and never became a member of any official church?
In the words of Jesus, in Matthew 7: 20–21, 24–5
“By their fruit you will recognise them. Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven …. Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.
I would call him a true follower of Jesus Christ.
At his funeral in Kuantan, members of his Bible study group shared the following about him:
1 He always kept his word. If he said four o’clock, he meant four o’clock, even if it was raining.
2 He loved the Bible and made great effort to understand and obey it.
3 He had a sense of humour. Without any attempt on his part, this has transferred to the men in our family.
4 He liked to help people. Many people of odd shape and situation passed through our home, to ask and receive help from my father.
5 He cultivated a large network of friends. His diaries had long lists of names, and he maintained an extensive correspondence with people around the world.
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David is married to Annabelle and they have three children. The Bok family now lives in Singapore.
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