Pastors: 'We're Open'

How are Malaysian pastors faring in their relationships with their congregations? Are they willing to be transparent with their members, or do they shy away? What goes through their minds when members leave the church? NECF Malaysia Research Executive shares her findings based on the responses filed by 192 pastors on the Emotional Connection Between Pastors and Congregation Survey conducted last year.

Fellowship or koinonia  used in the New Testament to mean the living bond that unites Christians  is the essence of church life. Church has therefore been described as an association that involves close, altruistic, mutual relationships and participation to the point of even sharing in suffering (2 Cor. 8:15; Phil 3:10). Since one of the issues in relationships is to co-ordinate all activities that benefit all parties, conflict of interests is bound to happen.

Church life is about people and relationships. While Scripture tells us to be at peace with all men, conflicts within churches on the globe have increased considerably. Perhaps this is because todays Christians are more knowledgeable and outspoken than those of yesteryears, and pastors or leaders may view such forthrightness as a challenge to their authority. In fact, many of the pastors surveyed listed members lack of submissiveness as one of the greatest challenges..

The 2001 NECF Survey of Churches, Pastors & Christians indicated that more than half of Malaysian churches were either going through or had had one or more significant conflict(s).

Two-thirds of the pastors surveyed in this 2004 survey agreed that irreconcilable differences are a common reason for discontinuation of pastoral service. But conflict in itself is not necessarily evil. Conflict, if handled appropriately, develops great leaders, matures the Church and strengthens the body of Christ. However, unresolved tensions not only divide the Church, they also rob us of effective ministers and ministries to fulfil Gods mandate.

The Consultation on Conflict Resolution organised by the NECF Research Commission in July 2003 identified several causes of unmanageable or poorly-handled conflicts in churches.

Among them were personality clashes; suspicion towards one another; lack of commitment to building and maintaining lasting relationships; ineffective communication skills, differences in vision and mission; differing leadership styles; and differences over church management, especially on practical issues such as money and resources. These factors are confirmed by many pastors in the 2004 survey as difficulties that test their ability in the ministries.

The good news is 77% of pastors surveyed perceive their relationships with congregations as satisfying and beyond the superficial level (Table 1).

While we believe that all pastors value relationships and are aware of the need of conflict management, some pastors may be better equipped with skills in resolving conflicts and/or are committed to a ministry of reconciliation.

Discerning that honesty and building a relationship on trust is one of the keys to successful leadership, NECF Malaysia attempts to assess pastors perspectives on honesty towards their congregations. 82% of the pastors in the survey say that their members want them to be honest.

Although honesty enhances the development of a relationship, it may also be hazardous since it requires a certain amount of self-disclosure. Revealing personal information, particularly weaknesses, makes one vulnerable to certain risks such as rejection, loss of control or betrayal.

Despite these potential hazards, 68% of the pastors would rather be transparent with their members than build walls to protect their image. In congregations where relationships are claimed to be satisfying and beyond the superficial level, 62% of the pastors are not afraid to share their weaknesses while 33% think that it is risky to do so. However, 75% are willing to share their weaknesses if that will help their congregation grow.

To appreciate the contributions made by our pastors, we must make an effort to understand their world and challenges they face (Table 3).

How do pastors feel when their members leave the church? 54% feel responsible when there is a high turnover in their respective churches, and the predicament may result in some pastors losing enthusiasm over their pastoral ministries. Finally, it is significant to note that 80% of the pastors surveyed admit that they need to be needed because they too are human, just like any other member in the church.

" Next issue: Pastors emotional outlet and relationship with the church leadership.