STRONG families are the key to building a prosperous, peaceful and stable community. Today, drugs, crime, violence, abandonment, infidelity, divorce and changing values are tearing families apart. The need for strong families has never been greater. The International Family Conference aimed at drawing together people from all walks of life who are working on the strengthening of families.
During times of change and transition, families need proven strategies for success that will help to improve the quality of family life. The Conference showcased successful programmes, case studies and practices that had been implemented at local, state and national level in many countries across the world.
The speakers came from many countries from all over the world. The local participants were mainly professionals in the areas of family and child welfare, and social services. There were academicians and students.
The Minister of Women and Family Development Malaysia, Datuk Shahrizat Abdul Jalil, gave the keynote address and she was personally present throughout most of the conference.
This was indeed a great encouragement to the participants.
Certainly, Malaysia is stepping out and taking the lead globally in putting resources, information, and people together to assist, promote, enhance and strengthen the most important social building block in any civilization – the family. We hope that out of this conference nations around the world will take this as a proactive, groundbreaking, pacesetting model on how to strengthen a nation and secure the future – which is our children and our children’s children – through building strong and healthy families.
All the speakers gave very enlightening talks. I would like to highlight one of the sessions done by Dr Larry Keefauver, parenting and family seminar leader and author of numerous books and curricula.
Dr Larry gave us 21 Laws of Family Communication. Communication is a vital ingredient for strengthening family relationships.
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Family communication requires:
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taking notice
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talking and listening
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truth
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trust
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togetherness
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touch
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thanksgiving
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time
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teaching
These are the nine Ts for effective family communication.
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Answer ‘why?’ early to save sorrow later.
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Speak life not death (negative comments) to one another.
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Use ‘I’ messages instead of ‘you’ messages.
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Only say what GOD tells you to say, only do what GOD tells you to do (listen to the highest authority).
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Talking at children is a monologue with the parent doing all the talking and listening.
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Want a child to talk? Listen! Willing silence without interruptions primes a child’s flow of communication. Be quick to listen…slow to speak…slow to anger.
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Your family is not a garbage can – no dumping!
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Share feelings, not just opinions. Take responsibility for your own feelings.
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Believe the best about one another, not the worst.
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Focus on affirmation instead of criticism.
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Discuss differences without angry name- calling, shouting and put-downs and with much patience.
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Make your non-verbal communication open, transparent and inviting.
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Open communication takes effort.
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Allow communication with nothing to lose, nothing to fear and nothing to hide.
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Refuse to rehash past failures and conflicts.
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Say ‘I love you’ often; say ‘I’m wrong, forgive me’ quickly when needed.
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Don’t go to bed with anger.
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Communicate with your love languages:
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gift giving
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acts of service
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quality time
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words of affirmation
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physical touch
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Use good communication skills: paraphrasing, reflecting feelings, describing behaviour, self-disclosure (honest about inside of self).
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Take the initiative to communicate. Don’t expect the others to always go first.
Personally I believe that if we were to follow all these ‘laws’ when we communicate with each other in the family, we will definitely encourage each other and foster better relationships amongst family members.
It’s never too late to start. Make this a year of effective family communication and strong family relationships. |
